Oscar placed his headphones in his ears for company in attempt to mask any further peculiar noises. He gave up on the idea of food, as his appetite had escaped him once more. Instead he emptied the bin, placing the black bin bag outside to be collected. Oscar was completely unaware that the broom, which had carefully been wedged in the corner by the door, had slipped falling across the entrance. Oscar sighed, walking from the kitchen. His foot caught under the broom, he reached out to grab the door handle with his free hand but missed, falling headlong into the hallway. The liquid splashed from his cup, spilling down the front of his top.

‘Argh!’ He abandoned the upturned mug, hastily removing his top from his scorched skin. He gazed down anxiously to see a patch of skin blistering slightly upon his stomach. He clambered up, pushing the broom out-of-the-way and hobbled upstairs removing the rest of his clothes,standing under the cold shower.

‘Clumsy idiot!’ He cursed. ‘Fancy leaving the broom so close to the door, and imagine not seeing it!’ The cool water soothed his stinging skin.  The sensation subsided a little, he rolled his eyes upon seeing the large, raised bruise appearing on his left knee. Surely Ava would have some kind of burn cream in her room? Her medical kit was well equipped at least. He placed a towel around his waist, limping into her room and gazing into her top draw. He spied the tube of acriflex. ‘Thank goodness one of us is organised!’ He sighed, as he applied a small amount to his reddened stomach.

Oscar flopped onto Ava’s bed, the movement causing his knee to smart. He winced slightly. ‘You really are daft.’ He thought. He gazed at the graze upon his wrist, tutting loudly. He closed his eyes for a few moments, but there was no time to procrastinate.Fully aware that he had another assignment due, he grabbed one of Ava’s note books to borrow a couple of sheets of paper.‘What the hell is this? Not Ava’s diary?‘ He half closed it. ‘Never read someone else’s diary.’ He thought. But curiosity took over. Oscar gazed at the last page, dated four days back.

‘I’m seriously worried about Oscar, he looks worse every single day. He seems to be almost in denial about it all. I’m really scared, but have no-one else really to talk to. What scares me more than anything is the fact that I’m carrying his baby. How am I going to cope alone? I know how excited he is about the whole thing, but I know for a fact that he won’t be well enough to help me care for the baby, he could barely stand at the scan. All he seems to do these days is sleep. What’s worse is it really grates on me more than anything, I feel tired myself all of the time, but I feel like I’m the one looking after him. It should be the other way around.’

Oscar swallowed. ‘Do I really look that bad and why is she worried about coping alone? I’m not going to leave her!’ He thought, feeling extremely guilty. Oscar flicked through previous pages.

‘Can’t believe I actually used to fancy Sebastian, he is turning into such a moron! I don’t know what has gotten into him lately, his behaviour is really bizarre. On a positive note, I know that I will always be able to rely on Oscar.’

Oscar’s heart sank. ‘What a selfish bastard I’ve been.’ He sighed. ‘Poor Ava, I’ve apologised so many times, but it doesn’t make it right, What can I do?’ He gazed at another entry.

‘Janet Setterfield! What an infuriating, selfish woman! How can anyone have so little concern or show so little love for their son? She has a heart of ice which isn’t going to melt anytime soon. Oscar is so foolish in thinking that he might be able to mend the damage already done.’

‘God that’s pretty rude!’ Oscar exclaimed. ‘Still, it is her private diary.’ He replaced the diary in exactly the same position in the draw, clutching a piece of paper in his shaky hand .

To be continued…

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25 thoughts on “Planchette- Part 78

  1. Hey Sophie. First, thank you for taking your time to go through my last post. I appreciate it.

    I’ve just finished reading through this. I enjoyed you taking your time going through the motions of Oscar’s accident with the burn.

    My recommendation here has to do with the language of the character. It sounds ‘written’ at times. I love that he finds her diary, and I felt for Oscar as he read what Ava had written in her diary. It’s great that this made me feel something.

    Language there was something that popped up for me, too. Human speech in things like diaries and journals–from my experience from those few who have allowed me to look at theirs–doesn’t usually sound that perfect.

    I think it’s great that you’re doing this blog and writing regularly (I’m a major procrastinator).

    There is a great book by James Wood called How Fiction Works. In it he talks about a style of narration called free indirect style. It basically uses third person narration with occasional hints of first person, creating what he calls a tension where the reader all of a sudden slips directly into a character’s mind and then out. I think you might like the book.

    I look forward to reading more! Thank you again.

    1. Hello! I was certain that I’d already replied to this comment (but perhaps not, I get a fair few)
      Thanks! I know where you’re coming from with the speech, but then on the other hand, I don’t want it to sound too colloquial either. I’ll have a look back and try to make some changes.
      I’ll have to have a look for that book. Hopefully it will be available on Amazon! Thank you for all your help!

      1. Cool. I understand. Maybe it’s my love for colloquialism (I met a lady the other day who apologized for her accent when I asked her from what part of the Southern US she came from…I told her I LOVED her accent…love speech). Thank you for the reply!

  2. Oh, what a dangerous road he went down reading Ava’s diary. Like you Sophie, I would never do that. It is important to respect a mate’s privacy. Will Oscar come clean? Great part. Has created so many questions. And your writing is great. It doesn’t hurt to read books or great articles on writing but the best way to improve is read other fiction or plays and write write write. That is how you grow in your writing. I enjoy your way of building up suspense and you have me hooked on your writing. jk

    1. Hey jk thanks for the advice! I’m trying to read as much as I possibly can at the moment, mainly in bed as I tend to write during the day! I LOVE Stephen King and I bought “The Girl” by Catherine Cookson today! I’d better get reading!

      1. Yes it is hard to find the time you want to read. I try but come up short on time. That’s why I like short articles that feed my mind with information and inspiration or other writers online that post non-fictional posts.They are really helpful. I can read other people’s fiction without worrying that it will confuse my mind in the way that i write, When you develop your own style which comes from your creative mind, which is what you are doing your safe. I think you writing keep growing the more you write and work on you novel. It really is quite good, And I am thoroughly enjoying every moment. So don’t push yourself and get overwhelmed by reading too much and exhausting yourself, You are doing fine. And learning as you write along the way, You show great confidence and promise in the direction you are heading in. jk

      2. Ah I do that too! I’m constantly reading other pieces of short fiction on here. I think my writing style has grown too, I’m not so happy with some of the earlier parts, but that doesn’t matter too much as this is only a very first draft 🙂

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