“Oscar? My god I didn’t recognise you for a second!” Janet gasped.

Oscar pursed his lips, taken aback by his Mother’s alarmed expression.

“You look very different.” Janet added.

“Oh? Really.”

“Yes. You’ve lost a ridiculous amount of weight in such a short space of time!”

“When did you ever notice my weight Mum?” 

Janet shrugged.“What on earth are you doing here anyway?”

“Mum I had to see you! I worry about you all the time, you ignore my phone calls and text messages. It’s not hard to write a quick line is it?”

“You shouldn’t bother, you can barely look after yourself by the looks of things Oscar!”

“Cheers.” Oscar sighed.

“I’m telling you straight! You’re not here alone are you?”

“No I’m not.” Oscar admitted. “Ava accompanied me.”

“Ava? Are you two an item?”

“As a matter of fact, yes.”

“Oh. Is that all the news?”

“For now.”

“We’ll see about that Oscar.” Janet eyed him suspiciously. “Well, are you going to introduce me to her?”

“Yeah of course Mum, when she’s awake.”

“Right. Oscar have you been ill recently?”

This is so unusual, Oscar thought. Since when did Mum ever show an interest in me?

“In all honesty yes, I have been a bit under the weather but I’m fine now.”

“Alright.”

“I’ll just go and check on Ava .”

Janet nodded. Oscar felt a tiny sense of relief on returning to his bedroom. Ava sat up and smiled at him. “Hey.”

“Good Morning sleepy head! Ava, my Mum wants to meet you!”

“Good. I should probably get dressed and shower first!”

“Yeah that’s fine.”

“Where’s Janet?”

“She went back into her room I think.  Don’t worry.”

“I’ll be ready shortly.”

“Okay Ava. Mum doesn’t know your pregnant, what should we do?”

“You mean you want me to hide the evidence?”

“That’s not what I was insinuating.”

“It sounded like it to me!”

“No. What I meant is we should let her know more gently, I have no idea how she’ll react.”

“She was my age when she had you wasn’t she?”

“Mum was slightly younger.”

“Well then, Janet can’t comment then can she?”

“I don’t know. How long are you going to be?”

“I’ve already said that I want a shower Oscar! Give me 15 minutes will you!”

“Sorry, I’m just nervous that’s all.”

“I know you are Oscar, you’re going to be just fine.”

                ***

At last much to Oscar’s relief, Ava emerged from the bathroom fully dressed. Hand in hand they crept down the staircase into the kitchen. Oscar eyed the recycling box in the corner. It was bottle free. ‘Thank God!’ he thought. Not taking any chances he stepped on the bin foot pedal, staring inside. There was no trace.

“Oscar what on earth are you doing?”

“Checking for bottles!”

“I see.”

“Sorry, lets go into the living room, I imagine Mum is in there.”

Indeed Janet was. She sat curled up in the corner of the sofa, slowly sipping her cup of tea.

“You’re pregnant aren’t you Ava?”

Oh shit.” 

“Yes shit indeed Oscar! What were you thinking! What on earth are both of you playing at?! Do you think that it’s going to be easy looking after a child? Oscar I meant it when I said that you looked dreadful, what’s wrong with you?

“There is nothing the matter with me Mum!”

“Ava what’s wrong with Oscar?”

“You two really need to talk!” Ava announced in desperation. ” Maybe I should leave you in peace for an hour or two? I have some uni work that I could do.”

“Oscar have you been eating properly?”

“Mum, I—”

“No he hasn’t Janet! I am really worried about him, it is understandable to some extent but Oscar you really are too skinny!”

Oscar gasped. “Enough Ava! How many times have we been through this, what I eat is my business. Don’t come to my house and then stir trouble.”

“I came here to help you!”

“Keep quiet then.”

“Okay, sorry. You know what, I really will do that assignment.” Ava turned upon her heels, escaping to Oscar’s bedroom.

Janet glared at Oscar. “She’s a feisty one isn’t she? Good choice there.”

“Mum she’s just-“

“Just what?”

“She just cares that’s all.”

“Right. Why did you really come home Oscar? To lecture me about my drinking? Yes I saw you looking in the cupboards earlier, checking up on me.”

“Shit, sorry.”

“Yes, well. I can look after myself thank you very much!”

“In the past you couldn’t.”

“People change Oscar! I’ve been through enough without having you back here.”

“What on earth is that supposed to mean?”

I think we’ve done enough talking for now. You’ve come back to check up on me and to reassure yourself that I’m still alive. You can see that I am, so you might as well go home!”

To be continued….

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25 thoughts on “Planchette-Part 57

  1. I like the story,good story telling and plot development! However, I get confused sometimes a bit when you interchange Janet and mum like in this story, I have to keep checking who Janet is, could be your style but in my tiny village we would use mum referring to mother from either side, what say you?

    1. Hello! I’ll have a look at that. When I use “Janet” then it is often Ava talking & I refer to the character as “Janet” rather than Oscar’s Mum. Thanks so much for taking the time to read my work, I’m so grateful for any feedback!

      1. I think since you have already established we are in Oscar’s family and they are visiting, am not sure Oscar will be fine with the girlfriend calling his mum by name, unless of course there is bad blood between Ava and Oscar’s mum.

      2. Hmm possibly, but this is 2013. Even if you have just met somebody then you tend to call them by their first name. In real life Ava probably would call Oscar’s Mum “Janet” & not “Oscar’s Mum” or Mrs__ . It’s debatable isn’t it ?

  2. Sophi, can I ask you a favour? I guess all your new readers will love it too, can you open a page for this novel where we can read the novel in its actual flow, that is starting from chapter 1 onwards?

    i am reading from beginning but i get lost once in a while!

  3. Well, I will start off this comment to tell you that my mother’s name was Janet. It took me back when her name came up. Now I will say, Oscar’s mum, what a piece of work. If I were Oscar & Ava I would run like hell away from her. Time to read what comes up next. Ava was quite smart exiting that living room as quickly as possible. Going along quite well. Do love your writing/story telling. jk 😎

    1. Hey JK thanks so much!
      That’s a coincidence! Yeah Oscar’s Mum is pretty difficult isn’t she! Thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate it 🙂

      1. You’ve got a story that really pulls one in and it makes you want to find out what’s coming and what direction the characters are heading. Mum is a character that makes me what to say: “Poor Oscar & Ava, what have you gotten yourself into.” I’m still wondering about Sebastien. This is really great. You clarify really well so following what is happening becomes clear. Yet, you leave enough mystery to make a reader develop a sense of wonder and concern about what is going to happen & is it going to be good or bad for anyone concerned. I really enjoy your writing. Thank you. jk 😎

      2. Thank you so, so much jk!
        I’m so glad that it draws you in! I just wish more people would read my work. Sebastian will (or should) re appear at some point. I’m writing this about 2-3 parts ahead of myself so I’m not sure. If you have any advice, thoughts or ideas just say!

      3. I thought for sure that Sebastian had met foul play but it’s good to hear he is still with us. Now the fact that he tried to kill Oscar is a curious development. Most people don’t go around trying to kill people. There is probably something deep that would lead him to doing something so desparate. So that could still bring mystery along with him when he reappears. Mum’s background must be pretty cruel if it made her turn to drinking to the point that Oscar is so concerned about it. And why did Dad leave? That in plain sight could be Mum/Janet’s behavior. She’s carrying around some real hate inside of her, I would say. Maybe some contact with Dad & Oscar, especially, if somehow he finds out he may become a grandpa. Since grandma isn’t exactly thrilled, which sounds like a monetary thing or just doesn’t want another family member added to people she doesn’t want to care about. These are just some of my reactions. You have so many characters to play off of with so many possible backgrounds & so many things that may have happened to cause them to be the way they are now. Ava is my favorite character so far. Oscar has possibilities but needs to pull back from wanting too much if anything from his mum. I will continue to read on. You are doing so great yourself. You have left yourself open to go in all sorts of directions that should draw people in. Have fun with it. You are doing great. jk 😎

      4. Thanks so much! I am making a note of all your comments. This one in particular was very interesting indeed! I need to work on a way of continuing the characters stories and bringing them back in ! I think I’m going to brainstorm!

      5. Alright, way to go. I need to do the same. I am working on a screenplay. Had a complete outline which I wrote and rewrote multiple times and was just starting to enter dialogue. By the way, you have written some good interactive conversations, this is your strong suit in moving the action and story forward. Plus your intermittent prose to development what wouldn’t work while speaking. I was so excited to be that far into the screenplay, then my computer hard drive crashed, Replaced it with a new one and that one crashed two weeks later. In the interim, somehow backing up my script got deleted or went down with the hard drive so I lost it all. It took me awhile to start all over again. Fortunately, I had the characters written out in a notebook and a fair amount of dialogue I can play off of. I have started from scratch but now I am using my screenwriting program and using index cards to map out the entire screenplay again but backing up the index cards (computerized where you interject new scenes any place in the script and it will relabel everything after it) in written page form structured like a novel cross screenplay & outline. It is quite an intricate program. It also does TV scripts, novels, short stories. It makes things easier. I want to write this particular script as a catharsis but also b/c it’s fun. It has a mind of it’s own. While I work on it the story seems to develop itself. I know the whole story but it keeps giving me more inner development. I even have an ending that I have well planned out that i won’t even tell my therapist, It is top secret. I’m not even sure if I am going to let it end that way. But for now it makes for a great twist.

        So brainstorm on. You never know where it will take you. Talk to your characters, let them tell you about themselves and what they want for their lives to be and where they think you should take them. How they see things turning out. Expect unusual surprises. When I started out I never thought that a specific character was going have something happen to them that did. It made for one very huge dramatic/comedic twist. Changed up everything. So good luck. I know you will find all sorts of intriguing avenues to take you characters on some mysterious adventures. Most of all have fun. Don’t force anything. If it is exhausting you and you get tired, it may be telling you that you are heading in a forced direction. Be free. It makes it easier and relax, don’t worry. If the story is meant to a certain way you will find yourself getting there. jk 😎

      6. I find writing realistic dialogue really hard!
        Oh my goodness! I’d be devastated if I lost all of my work! I put my work onto a word document and then transfer it onto wordpress, that way I have 2 copies. I’m no good at writing scripts. You’re advice is absolutely brilliant **copies and pastes it into a separate word document**
        Thanks again jk !

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  6. Hey there! This post couldn’t be written any better! Reading this post reminds me of my previous room mate! He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this page to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read. Thank you for sharing!

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