Irreversible Feelings.


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(Nikolai & Jake)

The friction was there, we could never get on
The argument occurred when the others were gone
The heat boiled our tempers, you were in a rage
Like a stalking, maddened wild cat, trapped in a cage
We were too different and I was immature:
Or perhaps just spoiled, of that you seemed sure

Niko, you’re a joke: a moaning little man
Get a grip of life; I’ve tolerated what I can
I’m not at all guilty, you deserved a wakeup call
Because you needed to realise, shit happens to us all
I might have gone too far, I didn’t mean to injure you
But when I strive to do something, I always see it through

You left me for dead and then you lied to my face
I was so vulnerable, you’re a walking disgrace
Jake, you made no effort to help when I fell into the sea
Perhaps you knew people wouldn’t care. Who would miss me?
On recovery, I was piecing together parts of my shaken brain
Even then you took sick pleasure in gloating at me again.

Tim and Jenna were at your side, pipe down Nikolai
You’re nothing but a fraud, even down to the way you cry
They’re crocodile tears, what do you have to be sad about?
Other days you are so angry and filled with self doubt
I bet your parents are ashamed of the man you’ve become
And no, I’m not taking it back, what I’ve said can’t be undone.

-My novel Azure is available on kindle for a small donation of £1.02/ $1.68;
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©Sophie Bowns 2011-2014

Pack your bags.


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(Jake)

You never play by my rules, why do you have to create your own?

You’re wasting your time Nikolai, all you seem to do is moan

Stop abandoning our projects, how hard is it to see one through?

I don’t understand your behaviour: I’ve seen two sides to you.

Why are you moping there? Do you really think this is a game?

When you land flat on your face, you’ll only have yourself to blame:

You’re irrational and moody! Nikolai, you just don’t want to know!

The best option for you little boy, is to pack your bags and go.

-My novel Azure is available on kindle for a small donation of £1.02/ $1.68;

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©Sophie Bowns 2011-2014

Ocean Prison


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(Nikolai’s perspective)

I live alone in London, yet I feel more forgotten out here

Trapped on a boat full of strangers, new faces fill me with fear

I don’t want to get too close; I despise the man I’ve become

I’ll don the mask I wear, my self-hatred can’t be undone

Stop barging into my cabin for I need some time alone

Don’t try to involve me, because I’d rather be on my own

Please don’t attempt to be kind to me; I am messed up in the head

I mull in my troubled thoughts as I lie on my cabin bed

I don’t care about popularity. I am a stupid, lonely man

Jake seems to think so too: he passes comment when he can

Please stop judging my every move, I cannot just up and leave

I am locked in an ocean prison. Give me space to breathe.

-My novel Azure is available on kindle for a small donation of £1.02/ $1.68;

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©Sophie Bowns 2011-2014

A liking of being disliked.


(Jenna’s perspective) 

You aim to be ignored, is it a game you want to play?

Why are you locking up your emotions, throwing the unwanted key away?

I don’t believe you’re genuine, who is the real Nik inside?

Are you so insecure about yourself that you feel the need to hide?

Why is it that you’re avoiding us, do you like to be alone?

Perhaps you’re mulling over troubled times as you sit there on your own.

It’s not good to be unpopular, I may be preaching, but I am right

I know that you’re a decent man. Please don’t strive to be disliked.

 

-My novel Azure is available on kindle for a small donation of £1.02/ $1.68;

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©Sophie Bowns 2011-2014

Azure; Ebook extract #4


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An extract from chapter 51 ;

Tim coughed, thinking of the best way to approach the situation. He eyed Jake who sat alone, sipping a cold bottle of Peronei.
“Ah you have the right idea!” He stated in a light hearted manner.
“The cooler’s there.” Jake muttered, tapping the ice filled box with his foot.
“You know, I think we’ve already got enough footage to make this advert. I don’t think that we even need to do anymore filming. I’ve got about 5 hours worth and we only need enough for a minute and a half. Despite Nikolai’s accident, I don’t think our time has been wasted at all.”
Jake coughed, not really acknowledging him and taking another sip of beer.
“There seems to have been quite a lot of focus on Nik recently and…”
“Really, I didn’t even notice.” Jake groaned, shaking his head.
“Hmm. Umm, have you and Nik spoken much?”
“Nope, I don’t see why I should even bother with him.
“You know Jake, I had my reservations about Nikolai. At first he showed a few traits that I didn’t like; nothing sinister, but I did thing that he was a little bit self obsessed.”
“Wow, you don’t say!”
“But Jake, something I must admit is the fact that I was so wrong! I’ve learned a lot about Nik on this holiday. He’s been through quite a lot Jake, but he is a good guy. Nikolai is caring and..”
“A true hero. You’re really selling it for him, aren’t you? Did he pay you for this?” Jake muttered.
“Finding her like that, moved him. He carried Cordelia off the beach, without any second thoughts about his ribs.”
“He’s a brave man.”
“I see this isn’t working. Do you have any idea how painful broken ribs are? Nik must have been in agony! He had his accident 2 weeks ago, his ribs have barely had chance to start healing yet.”
“You or I would have done the same.”
Tim shook his head. “You are one messed up individual; you show no remorse at all do you? I think you did push Nik! It’s a God damned shame that he can’t remember, but Jen and I am going to continue to help him to remember. When he does, then you’ll have something to worry about.”
“Pipe down Timothy; what are you going to do, have your friends beat me up?”
“What a stupid thing to suggest! Nah, that’s something you would do. I myself would quite like to see you stand up in a court of law.”

Azure is available on kindle for a small donation of £1.02/ $1.68;

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©Sophie Bowns 2011-2014

Rue The Night.


The curse of Levens Hall.
-Edited by Natalie Simpson

An old woman roamed; she had lost her way upon the grass so bare

Frosted tracks followed and soft brown eyes watched her stumble here and there.

She glanced back at the herd of deer, with their bright eyes staring wide

They were her friends and family, in them she could confide

Like unceasing tears the rain did fall upon the darkened land,

A couple sheltered, warm indoors, for the night was close at hand;

Cutting wind whipped to and fro, and moaned among the leaves

As the haggard creature approached the step, rolling up her sleeves

Her teeth chattered, her knees shook; she drew a painful breath

The cold air rattled in her chest – a harbinger of death.

The gypsy stretched out a withered hand, took hold of the brass handle

As something pretty caught her eye, it was but a simple candle

A pained smile creased her weathered lips; it looked so warm in there

Yes, a fire danced merrily in the hearth. The gentleman rose from his chair.

She heard some sort of commotion, and the door cautiously opened

To reveal a butler standing there: perhaps he would offer a token?

But the servant only stood and stared, before calling for the owner of the house.

Too frail to stand, the old woman sagged and waited like a frightened mouse

Raised voices echoed from inside, followed by chattering and laughter

There were footsteps resounding in the hall, could this be the master?

The door flew open, almost striking her but she shuffled away in time

A handsome man stood before her there, dressed in clothes so fine.

“Gypsy woman remove yourself; you are not wanted here

You do not frighten me, be off with you- it isn’t you I fear.”

She pleaded for his pity, clasped her hands as she clung to his leg;

But- “Be off with you, leave my house. Do not presume to beg!”

The gypsy sighed, slumping back as these words escaped her mouth;

“You’ll live to rue this night, Sir, when you turned me from your house.”

“What do you mean?” He insisted. “Oh why don’t you get up and go?”

“ Sir, your line will bear no heir, until a white fawn is born and the River Kent ceases to flow.”

She took satisfaction from his change of expression, casting one more glance inside;

Her hazel eyes rolled back in her head; the gypsy exhaled and died.

©Sophie Bowns 2011-2014

Teddy- E book extract #2


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An extract from chapter 35 ;

“Hello!” She grinned. “I hope you don’t have the intention of staying too late.”
“Oh no, I’ll just be here for another half an hour or so. I have this shirt to finish.”
“Father, you have dark circles around your eyes; please come home. I do suppose that Mr Vaan has left?”
“Yes. He went home an hour ago. I will, when I’ve finished.”
“Oh Father!” She sighed, her mood instantly changing.
“Please don’t be cross; I don’t want to fall behind.”
“I am not, I’m just worried as is Mother.”
“Your Mother fretted about me 5 years ago and I was quite well really.”
“No, you were exhausted.  Please don’t let that happen again.”
“I won’t.”
“Please come now then.”
John glanced at Bonnie and noticed her glassy eyes and trembling bottom lip, which made his heart ache. Despite wanting to finish his work, his family were far more important. He took Bonnie’s hand in his.
“I owe little Andrew a story, I’m being stupid, let’s go home.”
Bonnie hugged him. “Not in the least bit! I love you Father.”
“And I love you Bonbon, my intelligent school teacher of a daughter.”
“I am not a proper teacher yet.”
“Ahh, but close enough! You already have one foot in the door.” He beamed. “And you are still a teenager, what a wonderful achievement. I am so proud of you.”
John placed on his coat slowly and Bonnie looped her arm through his. He locked the shop door and placed the key in his pocket, as they walked back to the house together with care. She examined his glassy eyes and more prominent cheek bones and sighed.
“Father?”
“Yes?”
“Are you happy?”
“Why of course, I have been so lucky. Since I married your Mother, I don’t think I have ever been unhappy, at least not for long. I think the last time was when I was working in the fields, that was far too gruelling. It’s a shame that it took me so long to realise.”
“You seem to get coughs and colds all the time. Is Doctor Wilson worried?”
John paused; he didn’t want to lie to his daughter outright.
“He thinks that I should keep an eye on my health.”

Teddy is available on Kindle for a small donation of £1.03/ $1.71

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©Sophie Bowns 2011-2014

Azure- Ebook extract #3


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An extract from chapter 8 ; 

“And you! Look at yourself Niko! Yes you may have the looks, but you have the personality of a plant. You’re boring, up yourself and people only pretend to like you!”
“Oh is that so, they pretend do they?”
“Yes, you should hear what people say behind your back, it isn’t pretty.”
“Oh really? What’s that then?”
“That you’re an absolute, heartless, arrogant moron!”
“I think the moron is stood here, right in front of me!”
Cordelia gasped, with no idea of what they were saying. They were shouting and her Grandmother had told her that humans did this when they were cross with each other. She gazed up into the heavens. Were humans meant to get wet? She thought to herself, in her own quiet way. She stared at Niko, ‘my isn’t he pretty’ she thought, gazing at his expressive brown eyes, and silky dark hair, which was short but contained beautiful brown waves.
The heavens opened and large droplets of rain cascaded down onto the deck. Nikolai shivered as water dripped from his hair, soaking his shirt.
“Cold Niko?”
“Oh no, I’m perfectly fine Jake.”
“Good, because we haven’t finished. So, have you got anything else you’d like to say to me?”
“Not really, except your pathetic show is the biggest pile of shit!”
“You’re fired!”
“I’ve already walked! I want nothing to do with you, your fickle crew or this Z list failure of a production! Go and ruin someone else’s life you class A arse hole!”

Azure is available on kindle for a small donation of £1.02/ $1.68;

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©Sophie Bowns 2011-2014

Azure- E-book extract #2


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-An excerpt from chapter 7 ;

“Nik, where are you going?”
“To have a shower on the other side of the boat.”
“Well, don’t just wander off without telling us, will you?”
“Perhaps you should get me a sat nav, or even put a camera in every single room.”
“Is it impossible for you to give a polite answer?”
“Yes, yes it is when one, you talk to me like I’m a child and two; you’re being an absolute dick to me.”
“Why you!-”
Jake’s eyes flashed as he looked right into Niko’s hazel ones. He nodded, turned his back and walked away running a hand through his blonde hair.
“I hope karma gets you, you little jumped- up shit.”
Niko tilted his head back, as he stood underneath the refreshing jet of lukewarm water. He sensed the tickling bubbles on his fingertips as he washed and conditioned his beautiful hair. There came a loud banging on the door, breaking his reverie.
“Nik, remember about the shower time limit. 10 minutes, that’s it.”
He groaned, turning off the water supply with reluctance. Niko placed one foot out of the door, onto the beautifully cold tiles and wrapped himself up in the large royal blue bath towel. Returning to his cabin, he changed, placing on a different pair of flip-flops. As he emerged back up on deck, Jake noticed immediately.
“Jeez Niko, I’ve never known anyone to change so many times in one day.”
Niko said nothing.
“I mean, are you sure you’ve packed enough.” Jake laughed.
“10 T-shirts, 5 posh shirts, and 8 pairs of shorts should be more than enough for one week don’t you think?”
“It’s the heat. I suggest that you pipe down little man and learn the facts before you start preaching to me. How many tops do you own Jakey, 4? That’s all I’ve ever seen you wear.”
“Piss off Nikolai.”
“Make me.”

Azure is available on kindle for a small donation of £1.02/ $1.68;

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©Sophie Bowns 2011-2014

Azure, e-book extract.


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An extract from chapter 1;

“Shut up! I really don’t want to do this. Can we resume filming tomorrow? I’ve really had enough.”
“Please Niko, we’re on a time tight schedule, we don’t need you for any longer than an hour.”
“You said 20 minutes!” Niko snapped. “But fine.”
“Okay Niko smile.”
“I am.” He forced his best smile and looked into the lense of the camera once more.
“Great job Nikolai.”
‘Yes, great for you.’  He thought; rolling up his shirt sleeves and returning to his bedroom to get changed. He ditched the sky blue shirt in the wash basket and pulled on a light cotton t shirt which showed his fine physique underneath. ‘What a relief’, he sighed as he went to fetch a glass of quenching lemonade, spying Jenna in the corner.
“Oh um, you’ve changed.”
Nikolai frowned at her. “Why on earth are you following me about?”
“Niko, there are just under 30 of us on this boat, of course we’re going to bump into each other regularly. We’re going to be stopping at the Exumas soon, how amazing is that? Just… lighten up a bit. You’re technically on a paid, all inclusive cruise in the Bahamas and you don’t seem grateful at all.”
“I’m tired! Stop sticking your nose in everywhere and go and do something useful for once! I couldn’t give a shit about the islands, because quite frankly I’d rather be at home right now. I need to escape!”
“I’m not going to argue with you Nik..”
“Good. Please leave it then, because I’m really not in the mood!”
“Oh Nikolai act your age, you’re almost 21 not 15.”
“No comment.” Nikolai slammed the wooden door in her face. He sat cross- legged on his bed, his heart pounding. What on earth was he going to do; return to England and tell his parents how awful this experience had been? – He didn’t want that to have to be an option. Niko closed his eyes and prayed that something might happen to change the current circumstances, not thinking the consequences through properly in his troubled mind.

Azure is available on kindle for a small dontion of £1.02/ $1.68;

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©Sophie Bowns 2011-2014